Who Do You Think?
The other day, my room-mate at work and I enjoyed some unexpected bonding time. Our menstrual cycles have synchronised, and we moaned about period pain, PMT, and the amount of weeks a woman would spend in the company of "Aunt Flo" in her lifetime. I commented that my mother had started the menopause at 43, so at least an end was in sight.
"Oh", said my room-mate, "You definitely don't think you'll have children, then?"
Now. I know she's possibly right. But she's also possibly wrong. Lots of women have children in their 30s and early 40s. At 35, there's still time, and hope. And if my mum and P are anything to go by, I could meet a man tomorrow, move in with him, and be talking wedding plans in less than six months. (If biology was on their side, I've no doubt they'd be announcing baby orientated news right about now.)
Either way, it was a wholly inappropriate thing to say, and one which I can't shake from my head. It's not the first time. I am sure it won't be the last.
Off the back of Thursday's appraisal, I have made the decision to begin job-hunting again. I need balance between work and my life. In fact, I just need to have a life outside work again. Finding employment can be an arduous task, but there were a couple of things in yesterday's paper which I've now thrown my hat in the ring for.
I will not be keeping in touch with my room-mate when I leave.
Who Do You Think? - Interpol
Labels: Fertility, Modern Life is Rubbish, Tact, Work
posted by Cat @ Saturday, June 21, 2008
10 Comments:
i think you never know what's around the corner,and i should know! silly comments from silly people and yes, leave your job. 100% the right decision x
I figured it would not be long till you decided to job hunt again and I don’t think anyone can blame you – you have hardly stopped since you started this job and it’s unfair that you should be expected to give up your personal life for a career… I hope something turns up soon for you Cat, fingers crossed for you.
Time to move on! You gave it a year, and based on your feedback, made a difference while you've been there. As for the goon room mate? Seems she could use a good whack with the "shut up" stick... what a goober!
Yes, I do think that your colleague was inappropriate but I'm assuming that she is also younger than you, and therefore perhaps doesn't realize that she's touching on a sensitive issue. It's only since I hit my late twenties/early thirties that I've realized "Oh, my fucking God! My biological clock is ticking". Maybe she's still too distant from that to realize the inappropriateness of bringing up children.
Or, then again, maybe I'm talking out my arse and she's actually the same age or older than you are.
I definitely think that you, at the age of 35, still have plenty child-bearing years ahead of you. You don't need to go down the traditional "start seeing somebody/get hitched/get knocked-up route" which is inevitably time-consuming. If I'm still single at the age of 38 (even though I'm technically not single - just a horrible commitment phone) I've decided that I'm just going to move to Brazil and find some hot young guy there to be my baby daddy.
The room-mate sounds like she should put her brain into gear before engaging her mouth. Some people just talk and don't listen to what they are saying - they're just not socially aware. I've had this sort of thing as well - including someone staring at my stomach and saying I looked fatter and was I finally pregnant, and someone telling me how my eggs are getting old. Enchante!
Sounds like your job is stressful enough, so your room-mate is just the final straw. But everyone needs a social life...
Katy, you're absolutely right, no-one knows what's round the corner. You just have to keep the faith.
Alison, I am not a quitter, and I feel like a complete failure, but, I have to look at the big picture, not just work.
Daisy, it's actually only been six months, which seems like a terribly short amount of time to decide to give up on something. But Thursday was a bit of a final straw moment.
SM, she's actually just a couple of years younger than me, but has been with her husband since university and has no idea of the trials of being single in one's 30s!
Yaeli, I don't, for one minute, think she's malicious. She just doesn't think. And coupled with my hyper sensitivity, that does not a good combination make.
That's the good thing about room-mates; you can fuck them off with ease when you move.
And good work re the job-hunting. That was going to be my next suggestion.
Well, it sounds as if your room-mate it just one of ever-so many tactless people *out there*...
Good luck on finding a new job, Cat. You gave this one your best shot, but now it's time to move on I guess.
I really do wish you all the very best!
Lins x
Uugh! What nerve!
A similar thing happened to me. I'd been at present job less than one week when I found myself taking my crappy 30-min lunch break at a table across from a known loudmouthed nosy busy-body. The topic around me was "kids," and this birdlike ostrich of a woman in giant round spectacles looked right at me –never having spoken to me before in her life–and said (in front of 10 other co-workers):
"What about YOU? Do YOU want kids?"
I almost fell out of my chair. I gave some garbled, nervous non-committal answer & refrained from saying,
"Actually, I eat babies."
Good luck w/the job hunting!!!
Timbo, yup, on both counts.
Lindsay, I don't think she means to be, but yup to that too.
Stevie, I sat through my room-mate and a contract member of staff doing a full 30 minutes on weddings and hen nights this morning. (My room-mate's a newly wed, the other woman's son is getting married soon.) As I was desperately trying to get organised for my 9am start, it drove me bonkers, not least because I couldn't contribute a damn thing!
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